Last Will and Testament

        KNOW ALL BY THESE PRESENT, that I, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST, of New Castle County and State of Delaware, do hereby make, publish and declare this my Last Will and Testament, hereby revoking any other Will by me at any time heretofore made.

     FIRST:  I order and direct that all of my just debts and funeral expenses shall be paid by my Executrix, hereinafter named, as soon as conveniently may be after my decease.   

     SECOND: With regard to my funeral and burial arrangements, I direct my Executrix to follow the instructions which I may have set forth in a separate writing. In the event that my death is the result of melting, my estate shall disburse payment for one (1) mop.

     THIRD:  I hereby dispose of certain tangible personal property as follows:

1. For the benefit of their warmth and transportation, I leave my broomstick to the Occupy Munchkinland settlement.
2. To that vertically challenged spinner (I never did catch his name) who speaks often of starting some bizarre new clothing line, I leave my skull collection.
3. My Book of Spells to that miserably inept “Wizard” (if ever a wiz he was) in the hopes he will cease to be an embarrassment to the mystical profession.
4. My hourglass to a certain White Rabbit, that he for once may be on time.
5. My cauldron should go to my good friend, The Evil Queen, with whom I have exchanged many recipes. May she enjoy as much as I did brewing the tea for our weekly bridge game.
6. My castle I bequeath to my sister, with the stipulation that she retain the Winkies in her service, and provide them with lifetime domiciliary rights...and music lessons.
7. My squadron of flying monkeys to Glinda, so that she may suffer as I have suffered.

     FOURTH:  I order and direct my Executrix to sell all of my remaining property, real, personal or mixed, at public or private sale, on such terms and for such amounts as my Executrix may deem best.

     FIFTH: I give, devise and bequeath all the rest, residue and remainder of my property and estate, real, personal or mixed, of whatsoever the same may consist, and wheresoever the same may be situate, to my sister, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, but if she shall have predeceased me, then her share shall pass IN TOTO to The Home for Aging Green Sorcerers (HAGS) .  

     SIXTH:  I hereby name, constitute and appoint my sister, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST as Executrix of this Last Will and Testament.

     SEVENTH:  The term "Executrix" as herein used shall include the masculine and the feminine, the singular and the plural, personal representative, administrator with the Will annexed, or person, persons or entity who qualify to execute this Last Will and Testament.

        IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and seal this Fifteenth Day of March, 1900.

        SIGNED, SEALED, PUBLISHED AND DECLARED, by the above Testatrix, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST, as and for her  Last Will and Testament, in the presence of us, who in her  presence, at her  request, and in the presence of each other, have hereunto subscribed our names as Witnesses.